The worst part of this is something I don't have a word for. It's a kind of frustration, I guess. It feels like paralysis, as if I were straining to move my body--focusing as hard as I could--and yet feeling myself lying perfectly still. Or it's like I keep screaming until I can't breath anymore, except that I never manged to make any sound at all, and all I have to show for myself is my own exhaustion.
Most days are better, but for no particular reason today was worse.
I Want to Tear it All Down and Build it Up Again
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