I Know What it's Like to Have Failed, Baby

The Professor means well, but the advice he's giving just makes me feel even more like a loser than I already do. Ever since it's been clear I wasn't getting a tenure-tracked job this year, he's been telling me--repeatedly--what I "need to do" to get job. His advice? He says my research is what's going to get me a job. So what I "need" to do is get a really sweet research postdoc. That way, I'll have all this time to move my work forward, so I can crank out more and better papers. Then I'll get a job.

I bet I would have a better shot at more jobs if I spent all of next year working on nothing but my research. Okay, but almost all of the research postdocs I applied for have already told me to fuck off. For most of them, I never even had a shot.

The Professor's telling me what I need to do, and I have to tell him I've already failed. He's trying to help me out, and I fucked up his advice before he could even give it. God, that feels like shit.