14:32
0
It's been too long, hasn't it? Take a look at this PFO:
We regret to inform you, however, that you did not make our list of finalists.

This sentence was constructed with stunning artfulness. It's as passive as any sentence with the passive voice. (Who's decision was it not to put me on the finalist list? Who's responsible for telling me to fuck off?) And yet the sentence doesn't actually use the passive voice. This could be a revolution in PFO style.

But then the letter goes and blows all that painstakingly crafted passivity, when it says,

We. . . . hope that our decision will not discourage you as you continue on in the job market process.

Their decision? You mean, it didn't just happen? How'd they let that tiny ray of honesty find it's way out of the letter?

Oh, and for the record, this PFO didn't discourage me at all. I mean, the other 85 pushed me into a months-long depression, but this one made me feel like a million fucking bucks.

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