It could have been me: Why a near miss feels so good

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On February 12th, 2009 a plane bound for Buffalo, New York crashed into a house killing all 49 people aboard the plane, as well as one person on the ground. In the days following the crash, pictures of the wreckage and stories of the people who had died filled the airwaves. Among these stories of tragedy was a story of reflection and appreciation –bad weather and a missed connection prevented David Becony from boarding that Buffalo-bound plane and when news of the crash aired, he broke down, unable to believe how lucky he was. His wife of seventeen years told reporters that she couldn’t imagine life without him; but, for a few minutes, she had been forced to imagine the unimaginable. He and his family, while sad for the loss of others, felt happiness, relief and a greater appreciation for each other.   

Why did this near miss make Becony and his loved ones feel so good?

Reflecting on a loss or a near miss helps us appreciate what we have in our lives. In the classic movie “It’s a Wonderful Life,” George Bailey had to see a world without him in it in order to appreciate all the wonders in his life. Although most of us haven’t missed a flight that ended up crashing, or had an angel help us see our wonderful lives, we have passed a car crash on the road and realized how easily it could have been us or heard about someone who was diagnosed with cancer and had a moment of thanks that we were healthy. Even something as trivial as thinking we’ve forgotten our keys, only to find them in a different pocket of our bag, can elicit a sense of relief and appreciation. 

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