Breaking the rules: The psychology of playing hard to get

When I was in middle school, a family friend gave me a book called The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right. Though it was clearly geared towards women much older than myself who were looking for a husband, I couldn't put it down. I was fascinated by the long list of "don'ts" that seemed impossible to follow. At age 13 I had already violated most of them.

Here are some examples:

1. Don't talk to a man first.

2. Don't stare at men or talk too much.

3. Don't call him and rarely return his calls.
4. Don't ask him to dance.

5. Always end phone calls first.

6. Don't see him more than once or twice a week.

7. Don't take the lead.

8. Don't open up too fast.

9. Be honest but mysterious.
10. Don't tell him what to do.

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