I Don’t Wanna Be So Shy, Everytime That I'm Alone I Wonder Why

It's really, really easy to fall back on high-school dating metaphors when you're thinking about the job market. And, I claim, not entirely inappropriate. There's the anticipation, the desperation, and the fear--to say nothing of sweaty palms, humiliating yourself, and ultimately, stone-cold rejection.

But this e-mail, which was sent to PJMB friend (and non-philosopher) D, makes me think grade-school dating metaphors might be better. . . .

Hello! [Seriously. An exclamation point. --PGS]

Let me introduce myself; I'm [Weirdly Non-committal Prof] and I Chair this year's search at the [Better Than Decent State University]. We are very interested in your application. . . . If you were offered an interview, what's your availability between [such and such date and such and such date]?

[Weirdly Non-committal Prof.]

So, um, like, if I said I liked you, what do you think you'd say?