Pack your bags, we're moving

You wanted new threads and now you get a whole new blog. Second Suitor and I are flying solo over yonder at our new venture, The Philosophy Smoker. Details about what we're up to and the type of commenting community we're trying to go for are already up, as is this sad little story courtesy of Second Suitor via the wiki.

So, update your bookmarks and subscription to philosophysmoker.blogspot.com and come on over, everyone is more than welcome.

--STBJD

So You Got Fired, Now What?

Getting fired is definitely not an ideal situation for a career oriented person like yourself, but it is certainly something that you can survive if handled properly. You might feel anger and hatred towards your boss or you might even feel like cursing out your boss. As much as this might sound appealing at the spur of the moment, you need to handle the situation in a completely different way. It’s totally understandable if this is hard to accept and maybe you feel rejected at the moment, but it will certainly get easier over time. You need to understand the reality of this situation; people lose their jobs for many different reasons; while some of these reasons are within your control such as poor attendance, lack of productivity or being unable to get along with your coworkers, others have nothing to do with your performance. Whatever the case may be, the end result is the same. Here are a number of helpful tips that will help you dust yourself and get back on your feet.

Thank Your Boss

Weird as this may sound, you need to thank your boss for hiring you in the first place. You need to say this in the most sincere way possible. Sit down with your boss and go over the things that led to you being fired. Doing so will definitely help you avoid doing the same mistakes all over again. Remember that there might come a time in the future when this person will be in a position to recommend you for another job. Try to know in advance what your former boss will say about your termination. Doing so will help you address the issue in interviews as a “teachable moment”.

The CV Dilemma

There is no requirement that says that you have to have a reason for quitting your job on your CV, but in this case, there might be a time gap you have to explain. All you have to mention is the period of employment, a brief job description, and the name of the company that employed you. Leave the discussion of why you got fired for the interview and take time in advance to prepare what you will say if asked. Remember that your CV should only reflect your competencies and what you did well throughout your career, and since there are no rules that require you to write the reasons for leaving your last employment; it is usually understood that you left for a better opportunity.

The Interview

It is best to be frank and honest in explaining the reasons for your dismissal during the interview, so it is advisable to be prepared beforehand. Lying about your past job history or badmouthing your previous employer will only make you sound like a bitter ex-employee who is still unable to move on. Taking accountability demonstrates maturity and professionalism that the interviewer is looking for in a potential employee. As much as you try to hide the fact that you’ve been dismissed, it is likely that it will be discovered in a reference check. While some companies do not go into details on why you left your previous job, others do have a column asking “reasons for leaving previous job”. When faced with the direct question, do not lie about it, just tell the truth.

Get Back into the Job Market

Whatever the reason that led to you being fired might be, you must adopt a positive attitude towards your job search. If you loved your last position and the industry you worked in, then you can move on within the same field. But if you weren’t happy, now is the time to consider a career change. Akhtaboot, The Career Network, is certainly one of the easiest online job-search tools available and it will definitely help you a great deal in choosing the most appropriate position and in giving you valuable advice and hints for a successful career. Once you’ve completed your profile, you can start applying to any and all jobs you like on Akhtaboot.

You must know someone in the company you work for who thinks that they are doing a fantastic job, when in fact they actually aren’t. That someone might actually be YOU. Being fired might seem like a catastrophe at first, but it can open up the door for unlimited professional possibilities and can actually increase your job prospects. Maybe you were just waiting for a good reason to start looking around for a better paying job with a more comfortable working environment. If your former company didn’t appreciate your qualifications then other companies will, just change your status to “Looking for Job” and become an active job seeker on www.akhtaboot.com.

wikiality

Not that it really matters, but the philosophy job wiki seems to be down.  I've been looking at it periodically, but trying not to waste too much time looking at it.  I mean, if you get an interview you'll hear about that from the school.  Until I hear from a school that they're not interested I'll keep some hope.

Anyway, the less job stuff on the internet, the more I can enjoy the shit out of my Tofurkey.

-- Second Suitor

Update: it's back up.

I was bruised and battered and I couldn't tell what I felt

It's around this time of the year that mild depression tends to set in. Not only does Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) always hit me like a ton of bricks, but there's also the onslaught of grading/teaching (and the sick, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, non-mouth covering students that go along with it) and pressure from the committee to actually turn something substantive in (they should write the damn thing if they want it so bad) to be dealt with. It's the perfect shitstorm that gathers just in time to ruin the respite offered by the Thanksgiving holiday (I plan on entering a food coma atop a pile of student papers stained with turkey gravy).

Usually, I try to pull myself out of this funk by looking forward to the days of Winter break. My holiday drink of choice, eggnog spiked with brandy, doesn't hurt either. But, I found this strategy to be less effective this year. At first, I thought my tolerance had just gone up after years spent in graduate school. So, a few days ago, fancying myself an almost-Doctor, I increased the dosage on my (self) medication. On a particularly bad night (details revoked) I had four, maybe five, eggnogs instead of the usual two.

The next day, I woke up with a heavy head, reached for the bedside ibuprofen and glass of water, gulped down three red pills, and took a look at my planner. Noticing that my students were turning their papers in that day, visions of Winter break, hot chocolate, and fruitcake danced through my head. My spirits were temporally lifted, and I looked in my planner to the glorious days that lay ahead. It was then that the deepness of this year's depression made sense.

Anyone else looking forward to spending the last week of December in Philadelphia?

Rain, Sleet..

So interfolio ships the fast things using DHL and DHL quit. I'm guessing DHL will finish shipping the stuff they've already received and interfolio just doesn't currently have a super fast or delivery confirming service until they get something worked out.

Just something to keep in mind for those Dec 1 deadlines..

-- Second Suitor

Guest Post: Getting a Job

The Future Time Machine Builder reminds us that it could always be worse. --PGOAT

Getting a job in philosophy is a bit like trying to satisfy this posting:


Actually, this one might be easier to satisfy than the demands of some philosophy departments.

--TFTMB (The Future Time Machine Builder)

In other depressing news

The Times tells us what we already know. Anyone else drinking themselves to sleep tonight?

"In what respect, Charlie?"

A useful strategy. In case you're feeling cornered in an APA interview.

It's been a slow education

I peruse The National Review's Corner every now and again for a larf (and sometimes to just scare myself; it's like riding a roller coaster) and came across this gem:

Preliminary indications are that the youth vote (ages 18-29) was way up: an increase of somewhere over 2.2 million (maybe way over) from 2004 (a year in which it was very high), and as much as 13% over 2000. The Left's dominance of the academy is now having a material impact on electoral politics.

Because, you know, even though I can barely get my students to read what I assign and form cogent thoughts, I definitely have the ability to brainwash them so they vote the way I do.

Looks like we should get ready for a renewed assault on our academic freedom from the right within the next few years. And just as I developed a way to work the liberal, socialist agenda into my lectures on Descartes. Fuck.

--STBJD

Update: A few commenters point us in the following direction. Thanks for the ammunition and keep up the fight against these zombie lies.

Cash rules everything around me

Some commenters, like Anon. 4:26, from the weekend post on academic attire want a different post "to figure more prominently on the webpage" because they hate fun. I don't blame them, if I were on the market, I probably wouldn't be in the mood for unnecessary distractions either.

Others, like Spanky Wants a Job, want to speculate, wildly or otherwise, on more "worthwhile" matters. They ask:

Can someone please post something about how the bad financial markets are affecting this years' Fall job market? I know that Univ. of San Fran, VMI, and Worcester have cancelled their searches. Anywhere else? Might the Spring market be better? Any speculation that the number of VAPs will rise?

We here at the PJMB don't usually negotiate with the fun police in the comments, but I'm going to make an exception in this case. So, in the service of the aforementioned true believers here at the PJMB, I hereby make the prominent post on the webpage one soliciting your informed opinions on the effects of the financial markets on the job market, because, in fact, this does seem worthwhile.

I would say something, but I've wasted most of my time this weekend thinking about ties and need to get back to work.

--STBJD

I always wear a corduroy suit, cause it's made of a hundred gutters

Oh, glorious commenters! You never manage to fail me. I've been waiting for a discussion to come up on what is appropriate dress for the APA and, lo and behold, like clockwork, the true believers fire one up. Not only can I express my opinions on ties (Why in the hell would you not want to wear one? Personally, my tie collection resembles the stereotypical vision we have of a women's shoe closet: there's a lot of them and I don't need more than three. Though, that's not exactly true, if you have plenty of ties to rotate through, no one will ever notice you're wearing the same shirt over and over. Just remember: wear the right one to your interviews.), but I can also link to this (year old) interview (from the Chronicle) with fashion guru Tim Gunn.

I must say, he really hits the nail on the head here:

Q: Why do you think academics are so poorly dressed?

A: I really do think it's derived from a kind of intellectual snobbery that says, I'm above this. This is a phrase I hear all the time: Fashion is so ephemeral. And I do say to these people who are published and publishing more, What's more ephemeral than the written word? And I hate to get defensive about it, but within the design arena, let alone the wider academic world, fashion really is the F word. There's this unwillingness to engage in any kind of fashion dialogue. It's beneath them.

--STBJD

Time to Get the Raise You Deserve? Here’s How!

There is no question that money plays a major role in our lives, yet few of us were ever provided with good examples on how to approach this topic. Remember your first interview when everybody you know warned you not to bring up the “salary discussion”, so in an effort to appear “polite” you avoided the whole money conversation?

Salary negotiation can definitely be overwhelming, especially for those without a great deal of previous work experience, but there are situations when it makes common sense to go over to your manager and say, “I believe I am worth more to this company than I am being paid at the moment; I would really appreciate a raise.”

Before you rush into your manager’s office to discuss the possibility of a raise, consider the following three consequences: One, you may get the raise you truly deserve. Two, you may find out you are not nearly as good as you thought you were; so you might as well forget about it. Or, three, you could lose your job since you made your boss focus on your weak performance.

There is no “acceptable” approach to ask for a raise since it’s something that we are not trained to do, and it’s rarely discussed. So how about we go through the following techniques that will definitely bring a better outcome than doing nothing or approaching this matter in the wrong way.

Ask for Extra Work

Get yourself in a position to ask for a raise. One effective way to approach this is to ask for extra responsibilities and link it to the pay raise you want, if not right away, then in the future. This is a mature approach that employers respond to better than if you simply asked for a raise without a solid argument to back it up.

Another smart approach to tackle this is to ask for a performance-related increase based on your achievement of better outcomes than your previous or expected levels. This will also be perceived positively by your employer because it shows that you are not just asking for more money, but you actually deserve it.

Research Salaries in Your Field

Get a clear idea of what your job typically pays, but don’t forget that salaries vary from one industry to another. Your performance evaluation combined with the research you’ve done on current industry salaries will determine the fair market value that you deserve. It’s really important that you watch your tone when you discuss this issue with your manager; instead of you shouting “You’re Underpaying Me!” try to tackle this subject as if it’s a career-related discussion in which you’re presenting a research paper.
Don’t throw a tantrum if your request gets rejected; instead, ask what you can do in the next couple of months in order to make this discussion have a successful outcome the next time.

Be a Good Sport

Whatever happens, keep your attitude and conduct professional at all times. Whether you get the raise or not, stand up and smile, shake hands and express your gratitude for your manager’s time when the discussion is over. One of the most important rules of career advancement is that you have to be able to live with a NO. Unless you are prepared to leave your job, adjust to the current circumstances until you find a better opportunity.

Don’t Quit Just Yet

If you can’t get the raise you seek right away, you’ll likely find it by switching jobs. This doesn’t mean you should quit right away and start applying randomly for any job you find on www.akhtaboot.com. Looking out from the rock-solid base of a current job will always get you more job offers. And when it comes to job satisfaction, one thing is for sure; financial compensation isn’t the only factor that influences your job contentment, so don’t let this minor setback stop you; achieve your goals and try again. A better opportunity will definitely come your way later on, if you really deserve it.

In our culture, money represents a lot; it reflects how successful, smart and powerful we are. Being able to determine your worth at work is a good thing, it will not only help you increase your monetary compensation, but it will also provide you with better self awareness about your role within any company you might join.

If you focus on your passion when choosing a career, you’re more likely to select the kind of career path that will lead to the best career salaries. Money shouldn’t be your only goal; you want to be known as the best in your field. Make that the goal and the money will come along the way. Always remember that the best-paid careers are those that pay off not only in cash, but also in satisfaction and happiness.

Guest Post: Got Guts?

Is it too early to start reveling in the horror stories? Naw. It is, after all, Hallowe'en. OooooOoooh! Scary. -- PGOAT

So, the other night I was having dinner with a couple of colleagues (they are both tenured professors at top schools). Because I am on the market this year, each of them recounted their own horrible (yet somewhat comical) job search experiences. One was so nervous while at the APA smoker, that he excused himself from talking with a very famous philosopher to throw up in the bathroom. The other had trouble pouring himself a glass of water during an interview because of his intense shaking. In retrospect, they were both able to laugh at themselves about this kind of stuff (I was certainly laughing with them).

But there were other parts of the process that (even after many years) weren't so funny. In particular, they each told some stories about how badly they were treated during some interviews. Without giving any details, I will say that it should be clear to all readers of this blog that not all interviewers are nice to and/or even remotely interested in their interviewees. Both of my colleagues expressed some regret that they didn't have the guts then to get up and walk out of such situations. I'm wondering if anyone out there has had the gumption to do such a thing (or knows someone that did). How did it go? Any serious repercussions? Would you recommend such a practice to others?

-- (Almost) Ready To Stand Up For Myself

Show me the money!

So I've been doing some rough calculations and I'm guessing that a fairly full scale application process is going to run in the ballpark of $600-$800 this year.  I'm sure the mailing will get cheaper when I'm not rushing things off to Nov 1 deadlines, but so far I think mailing out each app is going to end up costing something like $10-$18.  This includes sending out my basic app and then seperately sending out my letters.  (It should be noted the super awesome placement committee at my institution is probably going to find some money to reimburse us some unknown amount so that cost should come down). 

Does that sound normal?  Am I too worried about getting applications in "on time"?  Or more generally, outside of paper, ink and postage, what costs am I forgetting?

Regardless, landing a job would totally be worth $600..

-- Second Suitor 

Guest Post: Moving Up

Mr. Philosophyhead is back. Thoughts, ye social climbers? --PGOAT

Here's a question I have always wanted to ask to a bunch of employment-seeking assholes like myself under conditions of mutual anonymity. Coming from my program the only 2/2 anyone would ever feel entitled to would be as an uninsured member of a certain department located in or near Poughkeepsie. As far as anyone around here can recall, there have been a few placements of our students directly into research programs, but it seems like it happens at an average of about once every decade. So the question is, supposing I score a less than dream job the first time out, what are the chances of eventually climbing the ol' non-corporate ladder? Has this happened to you or anyone you know? Exactly how much less than a dream job was it, and how long did it take?

Thanks again, PJMBers!

--Mister Philosophyhead

Guest Post: Now We're Talkin'

Philosotographer has my kind of ideal job ad. PGS relays by email that his ideal job ad would be AOS: being an ex-blogger, AOC: saying "fuck" a lot. -PGOAT

As long as we’re thinking about what the “ideal job ad” would look like, why not dream bigger? Two years ago, when I received the October 2006 JFP, I wrote out my ideal job ad:

333. TRINITY COLLEGE, Dublin, Ireland. The newly established Institute for Rock and Social Justice Semester at Sea Program invites application for a tenure-track appointment to begin September 2007. AOS: Photography. AOC: Ethics, Drumming, Logic, and one or more of the following: Whale Watching, Bowling, Kayaking, Documentary film watching/making. ABD preferred (Ph.D. considered). Please send CV, portfolio, writing sample, and list of favorite things. Interviews will NOT be conducted at the APA Eastern Division meeting because we respect Christmas and time off. PE/ACE.

--Philosotographer

Guest Post: What's with all the student conferences?

Anonymous MA Department Chair presents us with a very good question. --PGOAT

I’m the chair at a well-regarded MA Program and I have a beef to express. What’s with the proliferation of student conferences? It seems that almost every day I get another flyer or e-mail announcing a graduate student or, God forbid, undergraduate student conference. Our bulletin board is plastered with them. They are simply mushrooming. What’s the deal with this? I suppose that it might be good practice for students to organize conferences, deliver papers, and meet peers. But from my point of view, there’s a problem. If we encourage our students to participate and they are accepted to various programs (a not unlikely scenario given how many conferences there are), then they look to me and the department for funding. We already have limited travel funds to support our faculty, and there is no separate slush fund to draw from to help our students travel to Illinois, California, Florida, New Jersey, and wherever.

I also don’t believe that the faculty members at most of the places sponsoring such conferences truly want to attend and sit through papers by a myriad of students, some perhaps good, some likely not-so-good. Frankly, I wouldn’t. Do the faculty members encourage this? Do they actually show up? Are such conferences are a good idea? Why are they on the increase? Do they really help anyone? I would like to hear your opinion. Can you please tell your fellow graduate students to stop organizing these conferences? If not, can you recommend an attitude or policy I should take in advising our own students?

Thank you for letting me vent here.

--Anonymous MA Department Chair

More on the ideal job ad.

It's true. I do run a blog concerned with job market issues. And now it's not just the APA people who want to talk to you, my lovelies. Now it's the people at Yale. Play nice. -- PGOAT

Dear "PGoat,"

I understand that you run a Blog that is concerned with job market issues. We have been trying to make our job ad as user-friendly as possible. Could you check with your readers about whether the following is useful, and -- if not -- how it might be improved?

See: http://www.yale.edu/cogsci/job2008additional.html

Best,

-- Tamar

The ideal job ad.

The APA is listening, folks! The APA feels our pain. The APA wants to help. It wants to serve us better.

Kevin Timpe just left a comment regarding Anon 8:19's contention that "[i]f the APA--an organization to which we pay a not insignificant amount of money in dues--had their act together, then all of the ads would be standardized, and all of the job dossiers, including confidential letters of recommendation, would be uploaded by candidates and letter writers to some secure server where search coms could access them."

Here's Timpe's response:

I'm on the APA Committee on Academic Career Opportunities and Placement. I strongly doubt Anon's request will happen anytime soon, for various reasons that you all can likely guess. But what I'd like to hear is exactly how the JFP (in roughly something like its current form--print and online copies) could be more user-friendly and helpful for folks on the market. This is something the committee was discussing earlier today. I've heard the desideratum of a standardized format, with fields for easy mail-merge. What else would PJMB readers like? Consider this the opportunity to design your ideal job ad, in terms of form/structure (rather than specific content).

Talk to the nice man, people. Enough of this wailing into the void. Give him some concrete suggestions about what the APA can do to make our lives easier. (Or, you know, at least slightly less riddled with despair.)

--PGOAT

Let's get competent

Bumped up from yesterday's comments:

Anonymous 4:25p said:

When some places advertise an AOC (or less often, AOS) in "History of Philosophy," what am I supposed to think? Do they mean ALL periods of the history of philosophy? Or just one or more? What, exactly?

There's a related question. Sometimes you see an AOC in "critical thinking." Does anyone have an official AOC in "Critical Thinking"? I've never heard of it. If they're just looking for someone who can teach Intro to Logic and such, that's just about everyone with a PhD in philosophy, no?

My guess is that when History of Philosophy is an AOC they want you to be able to teach a few historical classes and it's fine if they're in some particular area. If it's an AOS they expect you to be an expert in one area in the history of philosophy but they don't have a specific preference as to what period. Sound right?

Also, wouldn't it be nice if posters used some anonymous name so we're not always referring to each other by the time stamp. It smacks too much of Parfit for me..

-- Second Suitor

Guest Post: Cut Off

Here's a depressing scenario from Lost to brighten your Monday morning. --PGOAT

I was just recently cut off by my Ph.D. granting institution. The secretary with the support of faculty and admin have decided that none of my requests to send out dossiers will be filled from now on. They say that I have exceeded the annual maximum. They put a limit of 100 requests per year and only for 5 years after being awarded the Ph.D. With the difficult job market and the possibility that it could take anywhere from 5-9 years to secure a TT position, this is a crushing blow to my career prospects. Has this happened to anyone out there? If so, how did you get around it? Is this the supreme vote of no confidence (you will never get a job, so it is pointless for us to continue sending out dossiers)? Shouldn't new grad students be notified that the department's support for their future job search will be severely limited? Any advice would be appreciated.

--Lost

"Don't go crazy"

How can writing cover letters be so hard?  I mean, they're kind of easy:

Hi pals!

I'm applying for your job.  My diss is pretty and I'm going to be super done before you hire me.

Did I mention I'm good for your job?

-SS

That seems simple enough, but somehow the 'I'm good for your job' is impossible to say in a nice, clean 4 sentence paragraph.  I  mean seriously.  I am good for the job.  My interests, your needs.. they go together like bananas and peanut butter.  It may not sound good at first but try it!

So I'm just going to spend a little while longer on this lovely saturday night rewriting a fine but not great paragraph while my non-philosophy friend tells me not to go crazy (note: this somehow doesn't help).

-- Second Suitor

I don't know if she's worth 900 kr

It's probably a little late in the game for a discussion of selective job searches to be helpful to those who are standing at the edge of the deep (or, in this case, the shallow) end of the pool trying to figure out if they should jump in and splash around. Nonetheless, there's inklings of this discussion in the comment thread over yonder, and I thought it merits it's own post.

What I've been told from numerous people-in-the-know is that going on the job market selectively makes no sense; if you're ready to apply to some jobs, then you should be ready to put your shoulder to the wheel and go forward full-bore with the applications. I pushed back on this sentiment at first. I wanted to leave open the possibility of applying selectively (just in case the perfect job satisfying all my academic and geographic desires came about), but I've come around to share it for the following (non-exhaustive) reasons:

1) Being ready for the market is all-or-nothing: you either have your dissertation done (or close to done) so your letter-writers can say that you'll have your Ph.D by the time of appointment, you either have publications or don't, you either have a job market portfolio prepared or not, et cetera, et cetera.
2) A selective job search, if conducted because you're not completely ready to apply to all kindsa jobs for the above reasons, more than likely won't be successful. That time you will have spent applying to jobs will be wasted. It's oh-so-precious time you could have spent finishing the dissertation, getting published, or getting a jump on the job market portfolio.
3) There's an off-chance that a job search, if conducted before your eggs have hatched, may hurt any future chance you have at getting that job. If that job is so dreamy as to draw your application and it isn't up-to-snuff, then if it isn't filled, there's no reason for them to take your application seriously the next year. First impressions matter (and perhaps there's a chance of those first impressions hurting your philosophical reputation elsewhere?).

I'm not entirely sold on whether or not these reasons compellingly speak against a selective job search (or make sense, especially the third reason). But, if these don't do it for you, I'm sure people can build upon them (and attack them accordingly) as they see fit in the comments. So, have at it!

--STBJD

It's time to face the hole

There are some good jobs that call for 'open' AOSs.  I mean, yeah, I could work at MIT or Berkeley.  But seriously... open?  What department honestly has the resources to just hire, you know, someone who does whatever...

Don't get me wrong.  I'm officially taking them at their word for it and applying to all the 'open' posititions (becuase that could mean me!).   But this kind of feels like I'm wasting their time and they're wasting my money.

-- Second Suitor

The room is dark and heavy with what I want to say

This damn anonymity. There's just so much I wish I could get into for the true believers here at PJMB. Things like my advisor laying out, in no uncertain terms, the wonderfully outlandish conditions that would have to be satisfied in order for me to get a job this year given my current situation (let's just say it involved possible worlds in which our respective counterparts couldn't be any more dissimilar from our existing selves in the actual world). Or, how, unlike my incredibly smart colleagues, I did myself no favors in relation to going on the job market (whenever that is) in teaching what I ended up teaching this year (did I seriously choose to teach what I'm teaching now? fuck).

But, as much as it pains me to have to navigate the tricky, secretive waters of revealing some without revealing too much that comes with the anonymous blog territory and how to come to grips with it keeping me from telling stories that may provide some small comfort or diversion to our loyal readers, I take solace in the fact that the moral of said better left unsaid stories is: it's beginning to look a lot like I'm forgoing the market this year.

Thing is, though, I'm not so sure I should be as happy I am with these developments as I am. Good thing I have this anonymous venue from which I can complain.

--STBJD

Guest Post: Cover Letter Hell

Presenting ... The Epistemologizer. -- PGOAT

Writing cover letters is giving me panic attacks. I'm trying to get input from a number of different professors, so it's not just my committee telling me "Yes, your letters look good. Now get back to writing your dissertation." Perhaps predictably, the advice I've been getting from the different professors I've shown my letters to is all over the map. So far I've received, on the one hand, a multiple pages-long response giving me paragraph-by-paragraph suggestions. On the other, a six-line email saying that you can never really help yourself by saying things in the letter, really you can only harm yourself, so in that respect the less said the better. What does one DO with a response like that?

Then there's the conversation I had with another professor today, in which he said: "Well essentially this has been rehashed already for the past decade by plenty of people, so what makes your dissertation project new and important? How is it different from what X said in 1996?" I think my mouth was open, but no sounds were coming out. Not a good sign. (Mental note: start prepping for job interviews so I can actually answer that question should anyone decide to interview me after reading whatever becomes of this cover letter.) So not only do I not feel so great about the state of my cover letters, but now thanks to my efforts at trying to improve first impressions, I've been thrown into a crisis of self-doubt that my project is at all worthwhile or philosophically significant, so should I even make it through the first round by some miracle, I'll blow it once I get to the interview stage for lack of being able to answer very basic questions like the one just cited. Did I mention that I've only written 12 pages of my third chapter? There are four chapters of my dissertation, so really I haven't even written (and therefore have no idea what will be in) the end yet. Come to think of it, my committee might be onto something.

-- The Epistemologizer

Sunday Comics

--STBJD

(A larger pic is just a click away)

Guest Post: 2008-2009 Marist Awards

Here's Mister Philosophyhead again, this time with a call to categorize the worst of the ads in the JFP. Someone needs to figure out how to turn this into a drinking game. --PGOAT

Nominations are now open for the worst job ads of the 2008-2009 hiring cycle. The awards are named after the famous ad from Marist College in JFP 176, which to my mind at least, will probably go down as the worst JFP ad of Our Time:

"*28.,*29.,*30.,*31.,*32.,*33.,*34.,*35.,*36.,*37. MARIST COLLEGE, Poughkeepsie, NY. The Department of Philosophy and Religious Studies at Marist College invites applications for adjunct positions teaching Introduction to Philosophy, Ethics, or World Views and Values starting in the fall of 2007 or the spring of 2008. Adjuncts usually teach no more than one or two courses per semester. MA in philosophy required, Ph.D. desirable. Teaching experience desirable. Applications considered immediately. Please submit a CV and letter of interest to: Chair, Department of Philosophy and Religious Studies, Marist College, 3399 North Road, FN 221, Poughkeepsie, NY 12601. (SW07) (176)"

(A condemnation of this ad, along with a completely inadequate response, presumably from someone at Marist, can be found here: http://leiterreports.typepad.com/blog/2007/10/october-jfp.html#comment-86066544)

The question is, what job ads from this year deserve wider recognition and ridicule? Here are the categories:

(1) Most utter contempt for human life and well-being

(2) Most bizarre requirements for application materials

(3) Most outrageous combination of AOS's and AOC's

(4) Most [insert any other disreputable practice you can think of here]

Thanks again for your help, PJMB community!

--Mister Philosophyhead

Nothing is fucked

A couple quick thoughts on reading the JFP for the first time when I'm actually going on the market:

1. Every time I cross out a job I can feel some opportunity slip away (this is worse when I cross out a whole page).

2. Seriously William and Mary? You want applications the day after tomorrow? Where I come from that's the Lord's day.

3. Somehow in my mind this was more of an all-at-once thing. I'm going to end up writing cover letters for the rest of the semester.

4. This year's JFP is 4 pages shorter than last year's ...

--Second Suitor

PSA: October JFP

It's up. Have at 'er. Thanks to several intrepid commenters for being all on-the-ball 'n stuff.

Wherein PGOAT tries her hand at advice columnry.

Dear PGOAT,
Please tell me why it is so tough. As a rising senior now applying for Ph.D. programs, a lot of what I hear is depressing or blatant denials. But I'm mostly told that (1) if you publish a lot and make the right connections as a Ph.D. candidate, you will emerge with a job and (2) that most of the old folks will be retiring by the time that I finish. Are these myths that deserve to be trashed as we seek better options or what? Hope I don't sound too nervy. Thanks for all you do.
-- Jhdeleuzian

Dear Jhdeleuzian,

I love nervy. Bring it on. As for the advice you're being given:

(1) is right, but not nearly as easy as you might think it would be. Grad school is hard. Like, really really hard. Telling you that all you have to do is "publish a lot and make the right connections" is about as awesome as Charles de Mar's skiing advice in Better Off Dead: "Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn." It's not wrong exactly, it's just totally fucking useless.

(For important suggestions about how to avoid some pitfalls in thinking about this, check out what PGS wrote here a while back.)

(2) is a tired myth that deserves to be trashed. The assholes who perpetuate this myth deserve to have their kneecaps smashed in with a ball-peen hammer. Some discussion of this in the PJMB archives can be found here, here, and here.

good luck kisses,

-- PGOAT.

Edit: Bonus Better Off Dead trailer! (Go to 0:56 for the quote.)

Guest Post: Deal-Killers

Mister Philosophyhead is back, with his second guest post.  This dude is definitely growing on me. -- PGOAT

Now that we have settled all the more pressing issues of philosophy job marketeers everywhere, like what that crossed-out date on the APA site meant, or how great my playlist is compared to yours, or anything involving you telling me stuff about the market that I already know or should have known, assuming that I am really enrolled in graduate school and interacting with real faculty members and real other graduate students on a regular basis, rather than someone who just happened to stumble on this blog by accident and who writes posts to fulfill some sort of Chuck Plahniuk or whatever his name is type fantasy of pretending to share in other people's suffering for the sake of personal catharis or just to alleviate boredom (in the movie anyway it was unclear which it was exactly), well, maybe then we can get around to some simpler issues for folks like me.  So here is an unresolved question from my last post which I have been thinking about.

 
Suppose you got hired recently and there is something you now know about your new department or school which would have made you think twice about accepting the job.  But of course, nobody told you before you were hired.  It could be something weird though not necessarily deal-breaking, like that half the department are practicing Wiccans.  Or maybe something not so weird but potentially deal-killing, like [redacted for the sake of author's and author's friend's anonymity].  I have three questions about this, one theoretical, one practical, and one solely for entertainment:

 
(1) Does the head of the search committee have an obligation to tell you these weird or potentially deal-killing facts before your accept an offer?
 
(2) Assuming the head of the search committee does not fulfill such an obligation, how do I go about finding out?
 
(3) Any stories?
 
Thanks again, PJMBers.  I've gotta go update my iPod now!
 
--Mister Philosophyhead

ZOMG we totally need a PhilBot!!!1!!

I just stumbled across this brilliant website.  The artist makes a new robot every single day. I love it.  Totally inspired.

That's NerdBot.  Maybe we can convince her to make a walrus and dinosaur to torture him?

--PGOAT

Getting Along With Your Co-Workers

Each year, thousands of students graduate from university, yet there are few qualified candidates out there. Remember the days when a university degree guaranteed instant success? Well, those were the days my friend! In these changing times, candidates are not hired solely on the basis of their academic accomplishments; a degree might be a basic requirement nowadays, but employers are looking for a wide range of other skills when it comes to hiring and retaining a certain candidate; and since this will continue to be the case in the near future, you will need to work on a number of other necessary non-academic attributes. One of the main skills employers look for in a potential candidate is “interpersonal skills”, which is basically the ability to communicate well with others and to maintain good working relationships.

Your relationship with your coworkers is really important for your job improvement and can definitely make for an exceptional career, it can also help you do your job better and turn your everyday job into an enjoyable experience. However, this is not always easy to achieve. As a matter of fact it can be very difficult at times especially if you have to deal with many colleagues of different backgrounds and personalities.

So, how about you try these helpful tips in order to improve your interpersonal skills?

Wearing the same shirts doesn’t make you a team

“Team Player” is now the buzz term for companies in all fields. Just take a look at any job posting on www.akhtaboot.com, most probably you’ll find the term “Team Player” as one of the main requirements for the position. Being a team player is an essential interpersonal trait of outstanding employees. It involves the ability to communicate clearly and to share your knowledge and expertise with your coworkers. Although some employees might be hesitant to share their knowledge for fear that once their knowledge is spread, they might no longer be considered indispensable. It’s really important that you understand that knowledge hoarding is for the weak. The more you share your knowledge, the more valuable you become.

A good listener is not only popular, but after a while he actually knows something

Being a good listener is the most important, yet the most forgotten, communication tool that we have. You can find many courses on how to speak but not even one on how to be a good listener. Effective listeners don’t simply hear what is being said but what is not being said as well. Always listen with an open mind and be receptive to new ideas even if they go against your own. This will create an atmosphere of cooperation in the company and will help you as a group in achieving the company’s goals.

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel

Just like you, coworkers like to be treated with respect, and respect is not given, it is actually earned. Always give credit to those who come up with new ideas, others will do the same for you and your good ideas. Make sure that you maintain a positive and cheerful attitude at work. Being negative not only brings you down; it also brings down the team as a whole. Do whatever it takes to reduce your stress level. If you still find yourself in a bad work situation and you can’t help but spread the negative energy, consider a job change.

The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you refuse to take the turn

Gain a reputation for being a flexible employee, be open to new ideas, and put your need to “be right” on the side, even if for a while. Don’t jump to conclusions before you’ve heard the whole thing. While team conflict is unavoidable, it could be both healthy and productive, if properly managed. In order for your coworkers to view you as a competent mediator, you should be flexible and inventive when in comes to solving problems and handling conflict.

Now that you’ve read all of these tips, you must have noticed that they all have one thing in common, “Selflessness”. In order for you to thrive in your career, you’ve got to learn to put others first. It might seem like a backward way to achieving your own goals, but it works for sure. Show your supervisors and your colleagues that you are all about the common interest, and you will be rewarded with career advancement no matter where you find yourself working in the future. Working well with others involves understanding and appreciating individual differences. It is all about using these differences to your best advantage.

If you find yourself constantly being accused of being an uncooperative team player this is an early warning for you to seek out a company where individual performance is rewarded. Better yet, why don’t you start your own business and hire only people who are not team players!

Guest Post: Bored

I'm not entirely certain Anon. 5:04 makes total sense. But she/he did make me laugh. Parsimonious rejection of explanatorily impotent entities? Prophylactic antidepressants? I love it. -- PGOAT

I can't believe that I just read that post about why there was a deadline of Oct. 10, and that I'm now responding to it. I must be very bored. I hope most of you are posting out of boredom too...my worry is that the job market has made many of the people anxious and compulsive in a way that would place them along some clinical continuum. The job market SUCKS. My happy story for finishing my dissertation is not the great work that came close to deadline, but the three months of regularly remembering and even saying outloud to myself that I had actually finished the program. It was very awesome--phenomenologically like getting short flashbacks of a strong opioid drug. Everything before that, though, was for two years bad or terrible or sucky. Makes people who are confident to the point of unpleasant start to treat animals kindly, become so anxious that they lose a great deal of weight, develop self-effacing humor, and almost make you like them. Like Palin. I almost like her. Have you noticed that she is not hot anymore? Strange things happen when your spirit gets crushed, especially if you already don't believe in spirits on account of their failure to meet any reasonable standard for explanatory potency. Speaking of entities you rejected as a teenager on grounds of parsimony, you will likely try out an abortive prayer or two in the final weeks of your defense.

If you get a good VAP job, which I did, you might surprise yourself by being happy. I did at least. If I had had to jump around for several--or even two, who knows?--years as an adjunct it would probably lose its charm. But for a while there you feel like a professional, and, in the context of grad life and debt and collection agencies, rich to the point where you think you might donate some of that extra cash to Oxfam, and then don't. ...

No moral--just some reflections on a mixed experience that, I know, if often not nearly as leavened as mine has been by fairly pure enjoyment in the subject itself. If I had the anxiety problems that all of you seem to have, I probably wouldn't have liked grad school as much as I did. I went on antidepressants very early, though, as a prophylactic to the misery I saw coming.

Sorry, I bet I made those who were previously anxious bored. Read it again maybe before your defenses for its anxiolytic properties?

Oh, indeed.

JFP

Can anyone shed light on this little line on when the JFP comes out:

179	September 5, 2008	October 10, 2008
179W	Copy Date: New Ads Received Until October 24	Publication date: Beginning October 10

I'm already starting to get a headache thinking about tracking down the job ads that get received 2 weeks after we get the JFP.

Also, how does a publication date have a beginning?

-- Second Suitor

Guest Post: How the University Works

Okay, so this wasn't really sent in as a guest post so much as a recommended link, but I'll let it slide. In part because it looks like quite the project this guy has undertaken. (Though I haven't really watched any of it, so don't take me as vouching for the content here.) In part because the project looks to be at least tangentially related to many of the themes we all like to beat to death here at PJMB. But also because y'all are totally shirking your guest post responsibilities and I don't really have a lot to choose from. C'mon people. Throw me a fucking bone here. Goddamn freeriders. -- PGOAT

You might be interested in this YouTube series by Marc Bousquet on the corporatization of the university and the travails of contingent faculty.

-- JT

Sunday Comics

Phil ABD is my first foray into the so-called 'soap opera' genre of strips.

(Click the pic to enlarge)

--STBJD

Guest Post: VAP Trap

Here's Cinderella, with a highly depressing tale from the trenches. -- PGOAT

The VAP Trap has been thoroughly unpacked and elucidated here before. But I don't recall seeing the one in which the Department Chair, desperate for a real, live Ph.D. to teach four back-to-back sections of a required class as a VAP, dangles the possibility of a tenure-track hire in the next couple of years, "for which you'd be warmly encouraged to apply (wink, wink)." Then when the position is finally advertised, the Chair passes on the app without even a glance because "we don't have any interest in offering tenure-track to anyone who's ever taught this class; it doesn't fit our self-conception as a department."

I seem to recall there's some formal fallacy in which the negation of the sufficient condition is the necessary condition. But perhaps I'm wrong about that; teaching as a VAP apparently causes irreversible brain rot.

-- Cinderella

Guest Post: Tunes

Last season I was kind of partial to blaring Rage Against the Machine through the ipod headphones before interviews. Totally pumps you up. Srsly. Guest poster Iamjob takes a decidedly more mellow approach to things. What about y'all? --PGOAT

I thought it might be fun to start a thread of songs that we're listening to to get ready for the job season.

I'll get us going with some smooth classics:

Built to Spill -- "The Plan"
Bruce Springsteen -- "Growin' Up"
Pavement -- "Major Leagues"
Wilco -- "Either Way"
Gordon Lightfoot -- "I'm Not Sayin'/Ribbon of Darkness"

If I were an even bigger nerd, I'd link to mp3s. Oh well.

-- Iamjob

Paint it..

I don't know about ya'll, but my job market label in gmail is black.

-Second Suitor

Guest Post: Ten More Polite Instructions for Search Committees ('Tis the season)

A new guest post for you, my darlings, from the charmingly named Mister Philosophyhead. -- PGOAT

1. If you are your department's resident old crank who has decided in advance that no candidate's accomplishments are good enough for a job in your department, do not volunteer for the search committee. And if you do, please do not exchange superior glances with the other old crank on the committe while I am in the middle of answering one of your (outdated) questions.

2. If you are from a religious school and do not plan on bringing up your department's religious mission during the interview, there is no need to notify candidates in advance. If you do plan on getting into it, however, it would be nice to drop a hint when you make that initial phone call ("and then we'll spend 20 minutes talking about the last time you went to communion").

3. Don't make me fill out some online form where I have to list any misdemeanors just for you to look at my application. If I list my high-school shoplifting, I'm afraid I won't be hired; if I don't, I'll be constantly worried that it could come back to haunt me.

4. Don't send me a rejection notice in October of the next academic year. I've spent the previous 7-10 months getting over last year's job search, I've deduced by now that someone else got the job you advertised, and I don't want to be reminded. Would you send condolences to someone's widow 5 years later? Well, that's what it's like.

5. Don't give me an APA interview if no matter how well it goes, you won't invite me for a campus visit because of where my PhD is from. Don't waste my time and I won't waste yours. Seriously, this breaks my heart.

6. Just don't advertise a job that "includes teaching a possible course at Wisconsin State Penitentiary." It brings me down because I will actually apply for that job (and, despite my prior experience with the juvenile court system, still get rejected).

7. If you visited me and my officemates in our office, we would try not to yell obscenities at one another for the time you were there, even if that is how we normally act. We would want you to like us enough to come back sometime. So on your end, maybe you could find it in your heart to suppress any weird intradepartmental tensions or power struggles for the short duration of the interview.

8. Well, I wanted to get to ten but that guy on Rate Your Students covered most of the good stuff. Do yourself a favor, Mr. Search Committee Member, and go read his list one more time!

-- Mister Philosophyhead

I'm just sittin' on the shelf

Anon. 7:41, from over yonder on this here thread, asks:

So what are folks doing now to gear up for the job market? And whose advisors are batshit crazy?

For my part, I must say that blank faced-doe eyed-text messaging- students have been doing a damn good job of diverting my attention from job market preparation these days. And, of course, this utter lack of preparation is surely going to cost me whatever jobs I may end up applying for this year. And I'm sure the good-not batshit crazy-but invariably uncomfortable moment inducing-advisor and the really fucking great (seriously!) placement committee will certainly let me know once I show up to one of their meetings about preparing for this Fall's market.

How's about the rest of y'all? How are you preparing to ensure that you're going to get the job that I want this year?

--STBJD

Guest Post: Market Value

A second guest post has trickled in. This one's from Anon Philosopher. Enjoy. And keep 'em coming, kids. -- PGOAT

So often, the discussion over philosophy as a profession turns to issues of economics. We now have a way to pinpoint the market value of a variety of philosophical terms. SpyFu.com gives an informed estimate of the amount that Google would charge for advertisement-per-click given an input search term into their search engine. Here are some examples:

"Immanuel Kant" $0.27-$0.57 per click
"Descartes Meditations" $.018-$.034 per click
"Philosophical Gourmet" $1.05-$6.60 per click
"Jacques Derrida" "No results Found"
"Philosophy Job Market" "No Results Found"

I think that we have now found our internet market value.

-- Anon Philosopher

Mister, You're on Fire, Mister

I'm trying to ride out the 'Oh fuck!' feeling that invariably overtakes me sometime in the first few weeks of the school year. It usually sets in around the 'Welcome Back (Though You Shouldn't Have Ever Left And Stopped Working) Reception' when the advisor catches my eye, walks over, asks what I did on my summer vacation (kissed four girls at sleepaway camp!), then, chuckling at my response, quickly shifts gears towards my dissertation and begins presumptuously asking for completed work and about meetings while I choke on my drink and spit a little on his shoes.

And while I'm usually able to weather this storm or at least walk it off and convince myself that I'm really not fucked, this 'Oh fuck!' moment is different. Not only did it come even sooner, it came with the force of an ACME one-ton anvil on the head, which is to say, it hit me like a ton of bricks in my face. With the placement committee telling me I'm not going to get a job unless I spent the whole summer crafting an impenetrable job market dossier that would be like Kryptonite to the ability of search committees to not give me a job, the advisor catching me BEFORE the beginning of the year and telling me to get my shit together, and the prospects of my office being flooded by students born in 1990, the 'Oh fuck!' quickly escalated into the 'Oh fuck; I'm fucked; Oh fuck; Shit, I'm fucked!' feeling before the summer even began.

And this time, after a few months of feeling this way, I'm not so sure I can walk it off. Because, you know what? I think I really AM fucked.

--STBJD

Looking to make a career change? Akhtaboot is here to the rescue!

Many of us get caught up in the daily routine of going to work without assessing their progress on the job or carefully managing their careers. Remember the times when it was a good thing to hold on to your job for the rest of your working life even if you were unsatisfied? Well, those days are long gone. Considering a new career direction has become an option that a lot of people are thinking about and exploring as we speak.

Making a major career change is not as easy as it sounds, since we all have responsibilities and bills to pay. Worry no more; Akhtaboot is here to help you move up to the next level and to take your career in the direction you want to take it.

But how can you be sure that you want to change careers rather than just get a new job? Any job has its ups and downs; we have all had days when we were not excited about our jobs. But if you find yourself constantly reading articles such as this one, asking friends in other careers questions about their jobs or even attending “career change” events, then most probably you are ready for change. Let us discuss the steps that you should follow in order to make a smooth transition into your new career.

Likes and Dislikes

Think about your previous jobs, what were the things that you liked and did not like about them? This will give you a clearer idea about what you might be naturally good at, which will eventually lead you to the career path that leverages your strengths. Of course, having the chance to do what you like most is not always the case, but if you have your clear career path in sight then you are more likely to get to it. Akhtaboot’s MBTI Personality Test will provide you with some insight into how you should approach the process of managing your career and hunting for jobs. It can also help you identify potential pitfalls and blind-spots that might hinder your professional progress.

Researching Careers

It is vital, at this stage, to research the careers that interest you the most. By doing so, your career path will gradually become evident to you. There are many career research methods. One excellent method is to turn to friends or mentors for advice, especially if they were working within the industry of your interest, they will definitely help you get established in your new career. Another important method is to do some actual research. Visit job websites such as Akhtaboot (www.akhtaboot.com). Check out the job descriptions, employment opportunities and the required education and training. In other words, learn the language of the industry that you want to enter into and make your new career in.

Tweak Your CV

So you have identified your strengths and done your homework, now is the time to work on your CV. It is true that few companies will hire you as a Marketing Manager if your CV highlights your 10-year experience in Finance! You can’t just present your old CV since it will only emphasize your old career path. Try to draw attention to the aspects of your past experience that matches the current needs of the new industry you want to enter into. A CV writing service might be just what you need at this point, and there are plenty out there to choose from. Akhtaboot’s professional CV writing team will help you create the perfect CV that will help you get noticed by prospective employers. To learn more about Akhtaboot’s CV writing services visit: www.akhtaboot.com/career_center/cv_writing

Test-Drive Your New Career

Now you can test-drive your new career before you take the plunge and switch careers. It’s really not easy to walk away from your old job and start over, but there are many other options that can help you gain the necessary experience in your new career field before you quit your current job. Find an internship program, volunteer, or find a part-time job within your new career industry. This will not only equip you with the required knowledge but will also provide you with the confidence and contacts that you will definitely need along the way.

Start the Job-Hunting Process

It has probably been a while since you have had to look for a job. It is time that you re-used your job hunting skills. It’s OK if you are feeling a bit unsure or insecure; it is a natural part of the career change process. The Internet has simplified the way you search for jobs, and the way employers find employees. Akhtaboot.com has made the job searching process easier than ever; all you have to do is: complete your profile, upload your CV, and change your status to “looking for a job”. That’s about it! You can now apply to any job in the company that you really want to work for.

You must really understand that career transition is not easy, but if you know exactly what you want then follow a precise career plan, stay focused, and really believe in yourself and that your perfect job is out there and you will definitely find it. The whole process might require a lot of your time and effort, but ultimately, the reward of having a gratifying and inspiring career makes it all worth the hard work.

Guest Post: An open letter to dude philosophers regarding your crap manners

At last! Our first guest poster! (Um, for such a bunch of whiners, y'all are pretty slow on the guest post submissions. Nothing, before this one. And publishing my email address like that now means that I'm getting a bunch of spam. Not cool, people. Not cool.) Anyway, this one's a doozy. I present to you Random Feminist, with "An open letter to dude philosophers regarding your crap manners." -- PGOAT

Dear dude philosophers,

Can I suggest something? When first meeting a feminist colleague, try not to start with comments like, "I've never really understood what feminist philosophy is supposed to be, anyway." It doesn't make you come across as collegial or interested in our work. It doesn't even come across as your garden-variety intellectual aggression. (We're fine with that. Seriously, we are.) It comes across as asking us to justify the existence of our subdiscipline. And you know what? That's just rude. As it happens, I think the philosophical interest of your JTB/S knows that P/Gettier masturbation ran its course a good 20 years ago, if it was ever interesting in the first place. (Didn't Dretske already solve that problem? Why are you still talking about it?) But despite my opinions about how lame your subdiscipline is, see how I manage to keep this to myself in the first three minutes of meeting you? Isn't that nice of me? Give it a try sometime.

XOXO,

Random Feminist

Your turn.

The grumblings in the comments have been getting louder for quite a while now. Our collective lack of posting here sucks. You need us. We're failing you.

We know. And we're sorry. And so, I propose that it's time for the improbable story that is this little blog to begin a new chapter. A chapter in which all y'all start pulling your own damn weight around here.

Here's the deal. You write a post about the job market. You email it to me at PGOAT01@gmail.com. If I like it, you, gentle reader, will find your ontological status upgraded from mere Loyal Fan to Guest Poster.

Some rules. Because I'm bossy like that.

1. Posts must be pseudonymous. We don't want to know who you are.
2. We reserve the right to be picky. We won't promise to post anything and everything that's sent to us.
3. Posts that PGOAT finds funny are much likelier to be posted.

Okay, go!

-- PGOAT

Wherein it is established that philosophers do not need to eat.

From comments:

I hate the predominantly instrumental view of philosophy that some readers of this blog have. None of the great philosophers in history had become great with such a mediocre mentality. Do you think that Wittgenstein or Kant or Aristotle were worried about 'job prospects' or 'job markets'?

Yeah, we're all so fucking crass.

And I like your examples, dude. As it happens, Aristotle and Wittgenstein weren't worried about this shit because they were both independently wealthy. As for Kant, before he got the chair at Konigsberg, he was a privatedozent, which is to say, the old-timey version of an adjunct, for a whole lotta years. He got paid per student, and so busted his ass to teach as many students as possible every single semester. So yeah, every semester he was worried about the job market.

I guess the lesson to take away from all this is that if you set me up with a trust fund, I'll stop worrying about the job market.

-- PGOAT

A little perspective

Apparently the Guardian has an advice column about work that included this little nugget of wisdom:

Q: "Will my philosophy degree work against me in business?"

A: "Being a philosophy graduate student makes you different and quirky; turn that into your unique selling point . . ."

I had it all backwards. I thought being weird made it harder to get a job..

-- Second Suitor

And that has made all the difference

Lately, there has been this choice looming heavy on my mind. So heavy, in fact, that I've been finding it hard to sleep at night and being whisked away to a special dream land in which tenure-track jobs are as abundant as lollipops on Lollipop Lane. The customary warm glass of milk and spoonful of peanut butter at 3 a.m. haven't been working their dormitive magic; I stay up watching infomercials about cookery devices, exercise machines, and combination stationary bicycles/rotisserie grills that can cook cornish hens in the same amount of time it takes to power-the-grill/pedal off the calories you'll take in from eating that same cornish hen.

These things don't help me in making my choice.

It's like I've come to two roads in a forest. One road being writing posts and drawing comics for the PJMB and thus placating the calls from the teeming masses on the comments board whining for more whining from Team PJMB so that they can call us out for whining when we should be writing dissertations. Let us call this the road more traveled (though people may dispute this particular labeling). The other road involves starting and finishing a new chapter, thus placating my advisor (or preparing for the market, or creating a syllabus). Let us call this the road less traveled.

Let's just say that this post should serve as fair warning that I'm about to get all Robert Frost up in this motherfucker.

--STBJD

Do you have what it takes to be a great Leader?

What is a leader? By definition, a leader is someone who leads others towards a common goal, influencing them to do things and creates an environment of trust, support, and teamwork.

Being a leader is not as glamorous as the job title may suggest; it takes tremendous commitment, dedication, and selflessness.

For centuries, people have debated whether leaders are born or made? Actually, there are several answers for this question and all of them conclude that leaders are both, BORN and MADE.

In today’s workplace, we have many managers and supervisors, but few of them are truly leaders. So what are the main characteristics that you should embrace in order to become a truly effective leader?

Think Big

A leader is someone with a vision; he looks at the big picture rather than just focusing on one issue at a time. A leader always has a specific plan according to the situation at hand while maintaining a considerable degree of flexibility that allows him to embrace change and experience new things together with the team.

Be Decisive

Being decisive means more than just making decisions; you should be able to take risks, listen to your intuition and act upon it. That being said; you must never forget that it’s not a one-man show but teamwork and coordination. Anyone who thinks he can make it on his own is doomed to fail. Involving other employees in the decision making process will definitely create an environment of cooperation, teamwork and loyalty, but keep in mind that eventually the final decision is yours to make.

Learn to Have Empathy

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes. You should be able to understand other people, how they feel, what motivates them, and the best way to influence them. Showing sensitivity towards others means being receptive to both the verbal and non-verbal cues. The more you understand those who surround you, the more you can help them and help yourself. All in all, greater empathy gives you greater information.

Be Ethical

An ethical leader is someone with integrity. Defining your integrity and ethics gives you consistency in your actions and relationship with others. Being an ethical leader means that you must be able to take a stand when no one else is on your side. Exceptional leaders never say one thing and do another, they actually practice what they preach.

Growing Others

Before you become a leader, success is all about growing yourself. However, the moment you become the leader success is all about growing those who surround you. Invest your time in helping other employees overcome their weaknesses and encourage them to speak their minds; this will encourage them to return the favor through hard work and loyalty. Eventually, leadership is all about getting someone to do something you want done because they want to do it!

Be Consistent

Make sure you have a consistent leadership style, this will help you avoid any confusion or mis-communication in the future. Define the roles and responsibilities clearly and follow through with reasonable and consistent rewards for when goals have been met or exceeded. Being consistent will not only enable you to get through the situation, but you’ll gain the respect and trust of your employees.

Admit Your Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes. However, making a mistake as a leader can be more serious since you’re the person everyone is looking up to. Admit your mistake, correct it on your own time and make sure you learn from it. The best thing about admitting your mistake is that it allows you to grow. Realizing that you are not the next best thing since “Mansaf” is a good thing. If you’re not making any mistakes then you’re not doing much.

People seek out leaders unconsciously, and leaders would never hesitate to step up to the plate instinctively. Leaders are recognized, not chosen. They have something within them that others just don’t possess. It is an intangible quality that can’t be explained, but when you come across it, you will recognize it immediately.

Some people are born that way and some need to work on their leadership skills in order to stand out. It’s not so much your technical abilities as it is about inspiring other people to become better at what they do. Anyhow, if you are suddenly put into a leadership position, and are lost for ideas on how to use your influence, simply recall those qualities you admired in others you previously followed.

Wanting to lead is not enough; you have to have the capabilities, the skills, the talents and the ideas. If you believe you got what it takes to stir the crowds and move up to a leadership position, promote yourself on Akhtaboot.com

Sunday Comics

So, it's been three weeks since the last comic and my promise to return us to our regularly scheduled programming. Yeah, yeah, I'm a liar and we're going to lose our readership cause we don't post enough. Sue me.

(Click on the picture to enlarge it.)

-STBJD

Easily the best philosophical exchange I've read in months.

This is a little behind the times, but I just got around to reading last week's thread from Leiter where folks were discussing whether the olds have an obligation to clear their deadwood asses out at some point.

Now, I believe I've already made my views on the matter quite clear. But check out this awesome exchange between Gil Harman and Tom Hurka:

Harman: "More ageism."

Hurka: "Ageism? Balls. It's about reducing the huge inequality between an age-cohort that's had it extremely good (those hired in the 1960s) and an age-cohort that are going to find it very tough (those now coming onto the job market). Or do we just say the latter group can go to hell?"

Oh man. So awesome. Hurka--you interested in a little guest blogging? Call me.

-- PGOAT

Done is good, done well is so much fucking better

There's a bit of discussion going over yon on the Sunday Comics thread about Professor Leiter's advice concerning the upcoming job market. And I think lost in some of the comments regarding the good Professor's past prognostications, and those concerning whether or not the comments questioning the soundness of the advice are serious, is a really goddamn good reason to delay getting the Ph.D this year in the case that the job market is not raining jobs down upon our heads like manna from heaven, but instead burning our hopes and dreams like fire and brimstone rendering our flesh.

And that reason isn't simply the very good one that Ph.D's go stale as if we were crackers left forgotten and open on the shelves because we ran out of peanut butter. That reason (if your attention hasn't been lost in the above ham-fisted simile overload) is this: it's a lot easier to secure another year of funding as an ABD at your home institution (through teaching or dissertation writing fellowships) and wait out a bad market for one year than it is to secure a job at another institution as a newly minted Ph.D in the process running the risk of losing certain avenues of funding and fucking up your chances for earning a living in the future.

Make sense; or am I completely off-base here?

--STBJD

UPDATE: The problem with my initial post was reading too much into the Good Professor's advice. There are independent reasons for delaying the job market search (especially in my own case; hence the projection of my own situation onto everyone else) aside from whether the job market is shitty in the Fall. I'm guilty of conflating those reasons with the advice given by the Good Professor (while remaining neutral as to whether it was good or bad). And, in the comments, I think Mr Zero probably hit the nail on the head:

Your milage [sic] may vary, but your decision to hit the market should depend on your readiness and funding situation, and not on some armchair economist's prognostication about the number of available jobs.

To which I would add: it probably also depends more on completeness of the dissertation, whether or not one is teaching while contemplating the market, and whether completing the dissertation, teaching, or one's job prospects will suffer from reaching before they are ready. And if all these things add up in a certain way so as to impair your chances of getting a job (and the funding is in your favor), independent of the number of jobs in the fall, one should probably stick around their home institution, wait to defend, and suckle away.

Sunday Comics

Anon. 5:58 from the July the 4th thread asks:

"i can has sunday robot cartoon???"

Yes, true believer, you can. Additionally, I would like to take this opportunity to hereby suspend my extended hiatus from the Sunday Comics (or, to state that, at the least, I have the best intentions to return to our regularly scheduled programming).

Besides, PGOAT already ruined my vacation anyway. Overachievers, pfft!

(For those who forgot how to make the comic BBBIIIIIGGGG!!!!, just click it.)

--STBJD

Happy 4th of July!

According to the Times, our happy days of being surrounded by like-minded lefties up here in our cozy Ivory Tower are numbered. This is because, unlike our radical Boomer predecessors, apparently we young 'uns are basically just a bunch of apathetic Republicans:

Baby boomers, hired in large numbers during a huge expansion in higher education that continued into the ’70s, are being replaced by younger professors who many of the nearly 50 academics interviewed by The New York Times believe are different from their predecessors — less ideologically polarized and more politically moderate.

Wow. Nearly 50 people, eh? That's like totally significant, Times interviewers. Truly a marvel of social scientific research you've given us here. Pft. Whatthefuckever. Kiss my progressive ass.

As PJMB friend RM pointed out to me this afternoon, buried in the article is this gem:

More than 54 percent of full-time faculty members in the United States were older than 50 in 2005, compared with 22.5 percent in 1969.

In other words, the majority of professors are OLDS. Olds who won't retire and give us their damn jobs. But what's more, they're olds who get more crusty and politically conservative with every passing year. And then turn around and blame us for being the reason academia is no longer sufficiently radical for their tastes.

You know what'd be guaranteed to make me radical as all hell? Tenure.

-- PGOAT

Haters Gon Hate

So, we've had a couple of posts lately that have been critical of Brian Leiter, and I expect we'll have more in the future. Just as we've had posts in the past that have given him props for what we think he's doing right, and just as we'll have more of those in the future too. That's all as it should be.

But in the last couple of weeks, comment threads are getting hijacked by some real haters. Let's call them the No Brians Club. They've obviously got beefs going back to I don't know what, and maybe they've got delusional fantasies about playing out the whole tragic Biggie/Tupac opera, or at least the Hillary Duff/Lindsay Lohan version of it.

Anyway, just a quick word to the No Brians Club: Enough. This blog's for bitching about being a grad student and getting fucked on the job market, not about Leiter. Take it somewhere else.

-- PGS

Turn Yourself into the Company SUPERSTAR

Have you ever heard of the Pareto Principle or the 80-20 rule? This principle states that in many cases, 20% of something is always responsible for 80% of the results. You’re probably wondering what this principle has to do with the topic at hand; actually it has everything to do with it.

You may have noticed that your office or team always seems to have someone who is outperforming, delivering above and beyond what seems to be the average performance. This person may actually be you. But if you’re not, then let Akhtaboot help you turn yourself from an ordinary employee into the company superstar.

Since 20% of the employees produce 80% of the results, you should learn how to leverage your performance in order to stand out and earn yourself a spot in the “20% gang”!

Plan Your Career

It’s really important that you start planning your career as early as possible; if you’re still a student, try to know exactly what you want to do after college. Don’t worry if you are long past your university years, just don’t waste any more time and start planning immediately.

Your career plan should be flexible, clear and realistic. Do not set impossible goals or wait for the perfect job to come your way. Create your own opportunity to sell your skills to the right company at the right time.

Re-assess your career plan every now and then to make sure it makes sense or if you need to modify it.

Learn, Learn and Learn Some More!

Superstars never fail to learn something new everyday, they don’t just settle for what they already know, but instead they constantly ask for feedback on the work they’ve done and are open to new suggestions. Step out of your comfort zone and take advantage of every learning opportunity that comes your way.

Superstars have no problem saying, “I don’t know”. They try to understand “the box” and are ambitious enough to venture out of it as well.

Work On Your People Skills

Superstars are always willing to give coworkers a helping hand; they show interest in others and take the time to know someone as a whole person.

You might even notice that your coworkers feel threatened by you for fear of being replaced, but there are many ways that you can get these people to like you. Try to win them over by letting them know you’re one of them, be nice, ask them questions about their background, interests and family.

If your coworkers think highly of you, your job will be easier and you are more likely to shine.

Bounce Back, Every time!

Winners bounce back every time they fall. They come back better, stronger and smarter. A temporary setback should not hinder your progress, so don’t give up, instead analyze what led to the relapse and try not to fall into the same pattern.

Keep things in perspective, the setback should never prevent you from fulfilling your career goals; just learn from it, accept it and rise above it.

It’s Not All About Money

Although the name “superstar” suggests a higher salary, money shouldn’t be the only reason you work to become a superstar. Superstars don’t think in terms of cash, they are actually motivated by long-term growth and the potential of the job itself.

They may even consider a pay cut because they are confident their new employer will recognize their achievements and contributions, which will result in them being promoted to a better and more lucrative position later on.

Let Your Ego Die

Don’t let your ego run your career. When it comes down to learning something new, your ego shouldn’t be around. Don’t settle for your current level of success and be open to new ideas on how to do things.

Always fix what you screw up, be the first to admit your mistakes and the first to congratulate a coworker when they succeed.

We all have something unique about us that makes us special, but some people always seem to get faster promotions, stand out and make more money.

Success isn’t simply a matter of money, power or prestige; it’s all about work and knowing what you want out of life.

While there’s no one thing that can guarantee equal success for every one of us, it’s really important to remember that success doesn’t happen overnight; there’s always a period of reflection, trial and disappointment before the pieces start falling together.

Despite the fact that we are all surrounded with opportunities, few of us really have the nerve to take advantage of them. The fact that you are actually reading this article proves that you are already far ahead of your coworkers.

If you feel lost in your career and feel that you need a reliable mentor to guide you through your professional challenges, allow Akhtaboot to help you with that, check out the career center at www.akhtaboot.com.