Sunday Comics

So, it's been three weeks since the last comic and my promise to return us to our regularly scheduled programming. Yeah, yeah, I'm a liar and we're going to lose our readership cause we don't post enough. Sue me.

(Click on the picture to enlarge it.)

-STBJD

Easily the best philosophical exchange I've read in months.

This is a little behind the times, but I just got around to reading last week's thread from Leiter where folks were discussing whether the olds have an obligation to clear their deadwood asses out at some point.

Now, I believe I've already made my views on the matter quite clear. But check out this awesome exchange between Gil Harman and Tom Hurka:

Harman: "More ageism."

Hurka: "Ageism? Balls. It's about reducing the huge inequality between an age-cohort that's had it extremely good (those hired in the 1960s) and an age-cohort that are going to find it very tough (those now coming onto the job market). Or do we just say the latter group can go to hell?"

Oh man. So awesome. Hurka--you interested in a little guest blogging? Call me.

-- PGOAT

Done is good, done well is so much fucking better

There's a bit of discussion going over yon on the Sunday Comics thread about Professor Leiter's advice concerning the upcoming job market. And I think lost in some of the comments regarding the good Professor's past prognostications, and those concerning whether or not the comments questioning the soundness of the advice are serious, is a really goddamn good reason to delay getting the Ph.D this year in the case that the job market is not raining jobs down upon our heads like manna from heaven, but instead burning our hopes and dreams like fire and brimstone rendering our flesh.

And that reason isn't simply the very good one that Ph.D's go stale as if we were crackers left forgotten and open on the shelves because we ran out of peanut butter. That reason (if your attention hasn't been lost in the above ham-fisted simile overload) is this: it's a lot easier to secure another year of funding as an ABD at your home institution (through teaching or dissertation writing fellowships) and wait out a bad market for one year than it is to secure a job at another institution as a newly minted Ph.D in the process running the risk of losing certain avenues of funding and fucking up your chances for earning a living in the future.

Make sense; or am I completely off-base here?

--STBJD

UPDATE: The problem with my initial post was reading too much into the Good Professor's advice. There are independent reasons for delaying the job market search (especially in my own case; hence the projection of my own situation onto everyone else) aside from whether the job market is shitty in the Fall. I'm guilty of conflating those reasons with the advice given by the Good Professor (while remaining neutral as to whether it was good or bad). And, in the comments, I think Mr Zero probably hit the nail on the head:

Your milage [sic] may vary, but your decision to hit the market should depend on your readiness and funding situation, and not on some armchair economist's prognostication about the number of available jobs.

To which I would add: it probably also depends more on completeness of the dissertation, whether or not one is teaching while contemplating the market, and whether completing the dissertation, teaching, or one's job prospects will suffer from reaching before they are ready. And if all these things add up in a certain way so as to impair your chances of getting a job (and the funding is in your favor), independent of the number of jobs in the fall, one should probably stick around their home institution, wait to defend, and suckle away.

Sunday Comics

Anon. 5:58 from the July the 4th thread asks:

"i can has sunday robot cartoon???"

Yes, true believer, you can. Additionally, I would like to take this opportunity to hereby suspend my extended hiatus from the Sunday Comics (or, to state that, at the least, I have the best intentions to return to our regularly scheduled programming).

Besides, PGOAT already ruined my vacation anyway. Overachievers, pfft!

(For those who forgot how to make the comic BBBIIIIIGGGG!!!!, just click it.)

--STBJD

Happy 4th of July!

According to the Times, our happy days of being surrounded by like-minded lefties up here in our cozy Ivory Tower are numbered. This is because, unlike our radical Boomer predecessors, apparently we young 'uns are basically just a bunch of apathetic Republicans:

Baby boomers, hired in large numbers during a huge expansion in higher education that continued into the ’70s, are being replaced by younger professors who many of the nearly 50 academics interviewed by The New York Times believe are different from their predecessors — less ideologically polarized and more politically moderate.

Wow. Nearly 50 people, eh? That's like totally significant, Times interviewers. Truly a marvel of social scientific research you've given us here. Pft. Whatthefuckever. Kiss my progressive ass.

As PJMB friend RM pointed out to me this afternoon, buried in the article is this gem:

More than 54 percent of full-time faculty members in the United States were older than 50 in 2005, compared with 22.5 percent in 1969.

In other words, the majority of professors are OLDS. Olds who won't retire and give us their damn jobs. But what's more, they're olds who get more crusty and politically conservative with every passing year. And then turn around and blame us for being the reason academia is no longer sufficiently radical for their tastes.

You know what'd be guaranteed to make me radical as all hell? Tenure.

-- PGOAT

Haters Gon Hate

So, we've had a couple of posts lately that have been critical of Brian Leiter, and I expect we'll have more in the future. Just as we've had posts in the past that have given him props for what we think he's doing right, and just as we'll have more of those in the future too. That's all as it should be.

But in the last couple of weeks, comment threads are getting hijacked by some real haters. Let's call them the No Brians Club. They've obviously got beefs going back to I don't know what, and maybe they've got delusional fantasies about playing out the whole tragic Biggie/Tupac opera, or at least the Hillary Duff/Lindsay Lohan version of it.

Anyway, just a quick word to the No Brians Club: Enough. This blog's for bitching about being a grad student and getting fucked on the job market, not about Leiter. Take it somewhere else.

-- PGS

Turn Yourself into the Company SUPERSTAR

Have you ever heard of the Pareto Principle or the 80-20 rule? This principle states that in many cases, 20% of something is always responsible for 80% of the results. You’re probably wondering what this principle has to do with the topic at hand; actually it has everything to do with it.

You may have noticed that your office or team always seems to have someone who is outperforming, delivering above and beyond what seems to be the average performance. This person may actually be you. But if you’re not, then let Akhtaboot help you turn yourself from an ordinary employee into the company superstar.

Since 20% of the employees produce 80% of the results, you should learn how to leverage your performance in order to stand out and earn yourself a spot in the “20% gang”!

Plan Your Career

It’s really important that you start planning your career as early as possible; if you’re still a student, try to know exactly what you want to do after college. Don’t worry if you are long past your university years, just don’t waste any more time and start planning immediately.

Your career plan should be flexible, clear and realistic. Do not set impossible goals or wait for the perfect job to come your way. Create your own opportunity to sell your skills to the right company at the right time.

Re-assess your career plan every now and then to make sure it makes sense or if you need to modify it.

Learn, Learn and Learn Some More!

Superstars never fail to learn something new everyday, they don’t just settle for what they already know, but instead they constantly ask for feedback on the work they’ve done and are open to new suggestions. Step out of your comfort zone and take advantage of every learning opportunity that comes your way.

Superstars have no problem saying, “I don’t know”. They try to understand “the box” and are ambitious enough to venture out of it as well.

Work On Your People Skills

Superstars are always willing to give coworkers a helping hand; they show interest in others and take the time to know someone as a whole person.

You might even notice that your coworkers feel threatened by you for fear of being replaced, but there are many ways that you can get these people to like you. Try to win them over by letting them know you’re one of them, be nice, ask them questions about their background, interests and family.

If your coworkers think highly of you, your job will be easier and you are more likely to shine.

Bounce Back, Every time!

Winners bounce back every time they fall. They come back better, stronger and smarter. A temporary setback should not hinder your progress, so don’t give up, instead analyze what led to the relapse and try not to fall into the same pattern.

Keep things in perspective, the setback should never prevent you from fulfilling your career goals; just learn from it, accept it and rise above it.

It’s Not All About Money

Although the name “superstar” suggests a higher salary, money shouldn’t be the only reason you work to become a superstar. Superstars don’t think in terms of cash, they are actually motivated by long-term growth and the potential of the job itself.

They may even consider a pay cut because they are confident their new employer will recognize their achievements and contributions, which will result in them being promoted to a better and more lucrative position later on.

Let Your Ego Die

Don’t let your ego run your career. When it comes down to learning something new, your ego shouldn’t be around. Don’t settle for your current level of success and be open to new ideas on how to do things.

Always fix what you screw up, be the first to admit your mistakes and the first to congratulate a coworker when they succeed.

We all have something unique about us that makes us special, but some people always seem to get faster promotions, stand out and make more money.

Success isn’t simply a matter of money, power or prestige; it’s all about work and knowing what you want out of life.

While there’s no one thing that can guarantee equal success for every one of us, it’s really important to remember that success doesn’t happen overnight; there’s always a period of reflection, trial and disappointment before the pieces start falling together.

Despite the fact that we are all surrounded with opportunities, few of us really have the nerve to take advantage of them. The fact that you are actually reading this article proves that you are already far ahead of your coworkers.

If you feel lost in your career and feel that you need a reliable mentor to guide you through your professional challenges, allow Akhtaboot to help you with that, check out the career center at www.akhtaboot.com.